Dealing with it is a lot easier said than done. Trust me I know, been there done that.The only difference is we had no children together.Spending time in church and on your knees praying for the strength to raise your children (not for God to bring him back). True love never hurts you. He took vows with you before God and now look at what he has done.How old are you? I will definitely keep you in my prayers because there will be many sleepless night over this.If you need a friend to talk to email me. May God Bless You.How to deal with a recent marriage break-up due to infidelity and now he is marrying one of the affairs.?
I just went through the same thing but she was married to her boy toy before I even served her with the papers...I have taken everyones advice and agree with them...Your gain and his new wife loss life has to get better just think positve....good luck on lifes journeys
There is not much you can do about that. However statistics show that marriages that are based on affairs normally end the same way. History has a tendency to repeat itself. Feel lucky it is over.
Pull yourself together, take him for all you can but remain civilised due to the children. Then sit back and watch his new wife become his old wife as he will do the same to her!!
Hold your head up. Be determined to find a better mate and then do it. You and your children deserve to be loved and there is someone out there that can be a better husband, lover and father than the cheat. Life's a ladder, continue to climb up, not down.
I would definatley move on and my first step would be going to the local child support office and making sure that he is going to support those children. Dont be suprised if all of a sudden he wants to come back because my ex did when i did this and i just laughed in his face. Now him and his new wife are struggling to pay thier bills because child support gets cut out of his checks. No, i dont gloat at someone having money trouble, but he did me dirty so...........
make sure you get child support! I wouldnt worry about him marrying that woman, he's only going to cheat on her too.
If there is any comfort to be had, it is in the fact that if he cheated on you, he will cheat on her as well. Just keep loving the children give them all your positive energy. Don't let the negative energy creep in.
You act triumphant, rather than bitter and hurt; you act like the winner, not a loser.
Act as if it had been your fondest dream to get rid of that burdensome man. At first you tried to save the poor girl, out of the goodness of your heart, but when she persevered in wanting to relieve you of the rotter, you simply couldn't pass up the opportunity to unload him. Now you are free of his irksome person and you feel a bit sorry for the poor, dear girl. Your life is so much happier now and you are simply delighted with the world and everyone in it, includes those two little sillies who are happily out of your life (except for visits to the children).
Of course you are very polite lady, and trying to NOT let all your happiness show ... but such joy is hard to hide.
I know this will not be an easy role to play, but you are on display here, like it or not. Would you rather play a winner? Or a bitter loser?
sorry, sounds like your life is going to be complicated and very hard to swallow.
but it looks like you will still have this ';jerk'; of a father in your life no matter what. just because of the kids.
just have to swallow your pride. for your kids well being.
dont need to tell children till they are older and can understand.
this is very difficult, understandably!!!
but good luck.
let her deal with him, just remember once a cheater always a cheater he will do the same to her, or better yet she may do it to him and then he can see what it is like, right now just sit back and wait for it to happen because it will
He's her problem now. Wish her luck, she's going to need it and lots of it.
take care of your kids and move on... the kids don't have to know how bad their dad was. `Good luck
thank god that it is all over
Just focus on yourself and kids..Take this time to improve yourself. Be thankful he's no longer your problem, he's now hers..He'll do the same thing to her that he did to you. You can now breath again!
A break up is not the end of the world you know. You have 3 kids to think of now not how to deal with a break up... cuz guess what its over its done he is gone for good. Concentrate on your kids and start having a life of your own and you better make him pay child support he is not over with the kids yet not for a long time, they are still half his done let him forget that either.
What i am saying is that i know its a tough time in life to have a break up its heart breaking but at the same time you have responsibilities of your kids now.... you can not get depressed and think of yourself your needs anymore.... just put all this behind and start making future plans.... look ahead.... there is no use now looking back and thinking of what happened cuz you can not change it.... its you and your kids now and who know maybe in the future someone who deserves you will walk in your life.... i believe that everything in life happens for a reason give it sometime..... as for your ex now he is just the father of your kids nothing more!
believe me he will be back and as hard as it is gonna be for you on your own, always remember, you are worth SO MUCH MORE! and so are your children!
the important part is to realize that the breakup happened due to HIS inadequacies, not yours. the shame is his because no matter what else happened between you, he broke the rules.
you probably feel pretty low about yourself. i know, i am dealing with the same thing. the truth is he is the bad person, not you. internalizing that is, i think, the first step to getting back on two feet.
Good riddance to bad rubbish. You and your children are better off. Don't use them as pawns- allow dad to see them, but insist on child support. Don't ever talk bad about him or the new woman in front of the children and as hard as it is grin and bear it. You don't have to like dad or the new fling, but be civil. He did this with no respect for you or your children, so your children deserve the upmost respect from you. Show it to them by refusing to fight with their dad.
dont think that the kids dont know what is going on. most know more than you give them credit for.
make sure you get court ordered child support and make sure that it is taken out of his check.
get yourself tested for vd.
remember that what he did to you, he will do for her and you can sit back and watch the show. its interesting that when they do marry the ones that they cheat with, they are so surprised when they find that he is cheating on them.
its always fun to say i told you so.
sounds to me like he was a heel and you are better off without him. hard to find a nice guy when the heel is still in the picture.
its hard to be alone sometimes, but i found that my kids and i are closer than we would have been if i had stayed married to their biological father.
i moved on and met a man who became my friend for over a year before we had any sexual relationship. its been 8 years now and my kids think of him as their father. and he does love being grandpa now, and my kids respect him more than they ever did their biological.
You ask how to deal with this. First of all don't blame yourself. The man you married isn't who you thought he was. He did betray you big time. You will have a time of grief. Feel your feelings then move on. Don't let him take your happiness and joy away from you. Remove him from your heart. Know that you did your best. And that it is time for you to move on and you defiatly need a man who will love and respect you and will honor you.
This man will most likely cheat on the next wife and so on.
Be glad that you are out of his crazyness.
Move on in life. Do positive things that will uplife you. Surround yourself with good people. Let go of your pain or it will destroy you.
Read books on positive thinking. Go to church or other places where you will feel protected and cared for. When you feel sorry for yourself. it is ok for some brief grief.....then pull yourself up and smile and treat yourself with diginty. You feel like the most important person in your life betrayed you. Change it to be YOU are the most important person in your life and that creep is finally out of your life.
Move onward strong and happy. The best revenge is you being happy. It will drive him nuts.
Free Angel has got it right. If he cheated on you with her, he'll cheat on her with someone else.
Since children are involved, get whatever you can out of him for child support. See if his new wife likes him so much when he brings home a seriously depleted paycheck.
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