We have an 10 year old daughter and she is very tired of the fighting and being yelled at. My wife wants to be a friend not a parent to our daughter. I finally put my foot down and said, either you stop yelling or I want a divorce. Her first reaction was 101 reasons why she yells and how horrible it is for me to ask her to stop yelling. I have made it a point this whole time that all I want to happen if for her to stop yelling. She has blown this up into something as big as infidelity. Obviously this is a power struggle, if I take away her yelling/temper power then she will be powerless.
Does anyone have any experience with this type of situation and do you have any real life cause and effect experiences? Of course, I'm open to all input, so talk to me. Thx in advance, I'm at my whits end.What to do with a wife that is depressed due to high levels of narcissism?
That's good that you put your foot down - she needs to know that she's not a 5 year old and this immature behavior is not only affecting you, but her daughter also. She really does need to see a professional about this, which is going to be hard to convince her of since she seems to be in denial about her actions and behavior. I'm guessing she just yells at you when you try to talk to her about it? Try writing her a letter. I know it sounds very 1800's, but she can't yell at or argue with a letter! Just leave it where she will easily find it before you go to work for the day.
Try to be honest and heartfelt, but not hurtful or mean. Tell her that you don't like seeing her depressed/upset, but you don't know how to help her. Let her know that her actions are affecting you and the daughter and both of you would really like it if she saw someone who knows how to help her. Tell her you miss the old her, the one that you used to love to be around. If you could get your daughter to add something to the letter that would be great too. At the end of the letter, let her know again that you would like to help her find a professional that can help her and make things alot easier. Tell her again that you love her but things cannot continue this way, and you would be happy to stand by her while she gets help rather than have to leave because she refuses to recognize that there's a problem.
Hopefully she'll think about this while you're at work or gone for a while, since you won't be there to yell at. And no woman can throw away a letter without reading all of it - we're too curious. (At least I am anyway). If this doesn't work, you can probably call a local psychologist and explain the situation and ask how you can convince her to get help.What to do with a wife that is depressed due to high levels of narcissism?
Your wife is in serious need of psychiatric help. I am not kidding. Your question would be like coming onto Y!A and asking, ';My wife has a brain tumor. Can somebody give me tips on how I can take it out?'; Likewise, your wife is beyond simple remedies. She needs professional help.
What did u get urself into? it seems like ur married to a five year old the way she is acting. Cant be much of an adult if she cant admit shes wrong. She needs serious help and if she wont admit that then you should leave her for your sanity.
I'd get her a psychiatric evaluation ASAP and if it turns out she's completely normal or things don't change I'd file for a divorce. Was she not this childish when you were dating????
bi-polar
She let you screw her a few times 10 years ago?
How did that happen?
Has she seen a doctor?
Dude, i know exactly how you feel. I'm married to her ';twin';. here is what I did. I talked to my family doctor and explained everything to him because I thought it might be a chemical imbalance. He told me to have her come in under the guise of a well woman checkup. he ran all kinds of tests and prescribed the proper meds. He gave her some story for taking them i.e. low iron, hormonal issues, etc. She took the meds and got back to reality.... see your family doctor!!!!
She needs to see a therapist, probably get put on medication and then take some anger management classes.
Sounds like a real ***** to deal with, I'm sorry you and your daughter are going through this...but by sticking around and just letting her have her way you are enabling her to behave like a spoiled brat.
Tell her you are doing what's best for the kid, tell her you will not stick around if she does not go to therapy and help herself. You and your little girl should not have to live like that.
Go to counseling together, and sign up for the online newsletter from Mort Fertel. It is free and can help you both communicate better. Maybe she is resentful for something and feels that you do not listen to her. There is a reason she feels powerless. I am assuming you didn't marry her like this. Is her self-esteem shot? Maybe you both need help communicating. If you love each other then you BOTH need to put effort into solutions rather than blame.
No comments:
Post a Comment