What I'm wondering is aside from seeking help which i did how does someone actually deal with the abandonment issues? I cut and its causing damage to my tendons now. I tried binge drinking and well that turned into trying to kill myself and now I just got to the point where I know if it does not change soon I wont be here alot longer. I'm not saying this for sympathy I know 10% of people with BPD do commit suicide and I really do not want it to go to that extreme how do others living with this manage to cope are there some kind of forums or something to talk to others with this issues or other people who have found ways to cope with them other than cutting, random sex partners, drinking and drugs? None of this helps it just really makes it alot worse :(
help...Coping with Borderline Personality Disorder?
Although Borderline Personality Disorder is less well known than bipolar and
schizophrenia it is more common, affecting 2% of adults in the US and accounting
for a whopping 20% of psychiatric hospitalizations in the US. Completed suicide
rates in BPD is an incredible 8-10%. All that having been said, borderline
personality disorder is not a death sentance. There is strong research which
suggests that often symptoms of BPD decrease as the sufferer ages from a
teenager to a young adult and their brain fully develops. With early
intervention, likelyhood of recovery is also increased
With borderline personality disorder it's really hard to find good therapists
because everyone's either scared of the label or isn't experienced enough to
help you. One of the most effective treatments for Borderline personality
disorder is a type of therapy called DBT (Dialectical Behavioral
Therapy). DBT was developed by a psychologist who had borderline her self. She
found in her own recovery, and in treating her patients, that CBT (cognitive
behavioral therapy) was too oriented on change for borderlines, leading them to
feel invalidated and have a high risk of dropping out of treatment. DBT is a
balance of acceptance and change. The tag line is that DBT teaches you to ';Build
A Life Worth Living';. And two uniquie focuses of DBT include training on
dialectical thinking (seeing both sides to every story) and mindfulness ( living
in the present, concepts are most highly pulled from Zen Buddhism, but are not
at all religious in nature.) It teaches you skills in distress tolerance (which
is crisis survival), interpersonal effectiveness (how to improve your
relationships), mindfulness ( living in the present moment, meditation type
stuff), and emotional regulation (how to prevent yourself from going into crisis
to begin with..basic taking care of yourself kind of stuff). DBT is developed
for TEAMS of clinicians working together, and includes: individual
psychotherapy, group skills training, phone coaching, and consultation team-
which is when the clinicians meet to discuss cases and support each other.
Although consultation team does not directly impact that patient, it is seen as
a manadory component of DBT, and you should seek a DBT group or center, not an
individual DBT Clinician if at all possible.
DBT is very very different than standard psychotherapy, which tends to be a
processing therapy. While in standard therapy you may spend many many sessions
focusing on whats wrong, DBT is constantly redirecting you towards focusing on
solutions. and in absense of concrete solutions, acceptance, so you decrease
suffering.
I think it is important to emphasize that \DBT is not a magical cure, nothing is.
And it can take a lot of perserverence to continue to incorperate skills into
your daily life when you aren't seeing a dramatic increase in mood. Most DBT
outpatient therapies need a time span of 1-2 years in therapy for full benefit.
It is not meant to be a life long treatment, although you could use it that way.
But for someone who is intelligent, and is determined to make the best of what
they have been given DBT is an excellent choice.
If you are interested in doing some work in DBT on your own, I would
suggest the ';Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Skills Workbook'; its green and is
published by New Harbinger Publishers. Here is a link to their original one,
they also have recently published variations of it, and one of them I know is
for Bulimia.
http://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavi鈥?/a>
/ref=pd_sim_b_9
Medication can help treat some struggles relating to BPD, but behavioral therapy
is considered much more effective.Coping with Borderline Personality Disorder?
you can add me as a contact or email me, and we can talk all you want. But cutting yourself won't do you any good sweety!!!!! chat to people who feel like you do. Or to people who understand. By cutting yourself you will be drawing attention to your self! and everyone will hover even more, you will only gain their trust to leave you alone once you have earned it! stop hurting yourself and start talking- Its a lot better and leaves you feeling better too
I cant begin to imagine what you're going through, but as a top contributor to this place, I'm guessing you are somewhat wise.
I notice that your insight into your illness is good, and you're taking the right steps to help manage your illness. You should also try to engage in group sessions (something which your psychiatrist can help you with) as this can also be a great help. The life around you is what causes you to think/do the things you do, as your insight is good, you should try to any extent to change your life. You only live once, and life is too short so please make the most of it.
You're already doing one of the very best interventions that you can, learning about this illness and working toward an understanding of what is motivating the self damaging behaviour. There is a forum online that folks who suffer from this personality disorder can post to, you might want to give it a try.
My heart goes out to you! Still, for all the pain you are in, the fact that you are now able to face the issues instead of just reacting and feeling bashed about by your emotions is so wonderful! This post alone shows that you are making progress and gaining insight, and that shows real courage...
Prayers for you...
Are you in the CBT/DBT Therapy hun? I'll assume you are...but just incase..it's Behavioral Therapy,wayyy above typical ';counseling';,and the best for a BPD.
Have they tried you on any antidepressants? I know many people think the DBT/CBT is the only treatment,so that's why I ask...I strongly dis-agree,and 100% believe that the RIGHT antidepressant(meaning the one that's going to work for you out of the 10 you'll end up having to ';try';),could help...atleast with the mood swings/depression end of what you are facing.
And,just incase you didn't know this part..and I'm NOT saying it happens to everybody (I always have to specify that part otherwise people think I'm 'making it up' b/c it didn't happen for 'them'lol),but...MANY BDP's ';grow out of it'; in their mid-late 30's......
Sooo,if your not in that age range yet...that *might* be something to hope for...it does happen:-)
If your not already...Google ONLINE SUPPORT GROUP FOR BORDERLINES...I know there are a few good support groups out there online that you can get support/talk/study/ask questions/ect....people that will UNDERSTAND you,which I know can be hard to find in the ';real world';.
I wish you the best hun...I hope things get better/and my prayers too:-)
I am so sorry for your suffering. Are you taking the required medications, an antidepressant and an antipsychotic. Those are number one most important. Please know that drinking prevents your medications from working and as you know causes great harm and causing your feelings and symptoms to become much worse.
There is a new and revolutionary therapy called EMDR. What is the best about this therapy is that the specialized therapist has the skill to bring forth the trauma or traumas that occurred in childhood that are hidden in your subconscious mind. You are then able to deal with the trauma or traumas in an adult way rather than the extremely damaging way they were processed as a child. This is not a lengthy therapy.
Also you can ask about Emotion Regulation Therapy which teaches you how to manage your emotions that you never had an opporunity to learn. Also Cognitive Restructuring Therapy teaches you how to change the damaging way you have learned to think and allows you to live a happy and productive life. To be truly successful it is good to do all three of the therapies one by one.
For now please try your best to know that you are loved and that you are special. Unfortunately the BPD takes away your ability to like and love yourself. But try. If you harmed yourself those who love you would be destroyed for life themselves. There are also numbers you can call that are staffed by professionals who can help you 24 hours a day. One is 1-800-273-talk and 1-800-suicide.
You can learn to live a happy life please try to think of the good things that are to come to you. This is a crisis and please use the numbers when you feel a need. Please take care of yourself!
More than 2 drinks acts as a depressant, and any amount depletes B group vitamins, exacerbating depression. A previous answer follows: Because of their upbringing, people suffering from BPD tend to see things in terms of black and white, rather than shades of grey, and often idealise, then devalue, in relationships. They also tend to have a great fear of abandonment, and sometimes go to extreme lengths to prevent it. They often become involved in alcohol and/or drug abuse, and/or high risk activities. Closely examine the http://1-800-therapist.com/ %26amp; http://www.metanoia.org/choose/ websites. Contact the local %26amp; national organisations of clinical psychologists, therapists, and/or psychiatrists, to find a therapist who uses Dialectical Behavio(u)ral Therapy, or get a good book on the subject, and give to a therapist using Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy (fairly common, and probably nearby) and ask that it be incorporated into your treatment. Dialectic Behavior Therapy (DBT) http://www.priory.com/dbt.htm %26amp; http://www.behavioraltech.com/downloads/鈥?/a> Some locators are via the home page, at Weebly, below.
Workbooks that offer good coping skills are: Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, %26amp; Distress Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) by Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood, and Jeffrey Brantley, %26amp; Marsha Linehan's Skills Training Manual (a DBT Workbook). Read ';I hate you: don't leave me.'; by Jerold J. Kreisman, M.D. and Hal Stras. Also: The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook: Practical Strategies for Living With Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder, by Randi Kreger and James Paul Shirley, %26amp; NEW HOPE FOR PEOPLE WITH BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER, by Neil R. Bockian, Ph.D., %26amp; The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide - Paperback (Nov 2007) by Alex Chapman and Kim Gratz, %26amp; Borderline Personality Disorder For Dummies (Health %26amp; Fitness) by Charles H. Elliott and Laura L. Smith. Try www.amazon.com for these, and others on BPD. View: http://www.sane.org/information/factshee鈥?/a> %26amp; http://www.2knowmyself.com/uieforum?c=sh鈥?/a> Check out: www.borderlinepersonalitytoday.com/main/鈥?%26amp; www.mhsanctuary.com/Borderline/board2d.h鈥?www.psychforums.com/borderline-personali鈥?www.ehow.com/how_2154549_find-borderline鈥?%26amp; www.borderlinecentral.com/articles/bpdsu鈥?
Most people are suggestible, to some degree, so you could either seek professional hypnotherapy, or more alternatives along those lines are shown here * Google: ';support groups; borderline personality disorder'; and try some. Do similarly with chat sites and forums. Practice a relaxation method, daily, and when needed, such as http://www.drcoxconsulting.com/managing-鈥?/a> or http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/mindbody鈥?/a> or http://www.wikihow.com/Meditate or Yoga Nidra, (a series of easy mental exercises only; no flexibility required) at http://your-mental-health.weebly.com/l.h鈥?/a> (page * X addresses BPD; see page g about breakups) Tai Chi, regular yoga, or Qi Gong, suits others better.
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