Why does it hurt some much? What should I do?

I recently found out that my husband was having inappropriate long cell phone converstations with several women all during a time when He was supposed to be working on our relationship..history of infidelity and I finally told him that I wasn't sure that I had any love left for him. I love him for being a good friend to me, a great dad, ect but I don't feel that love (stars in the sky) and passion for him any more. I am pretty sure that I have just been hurt to much and just don't have it in me to love him that way anymore. I asked for a seperation and he agreed to give me space but..we are still living together (separate beds) and I want him to just leave me alone so that I can sort things out in my head and heart. I don't like the kind of woman that I have become with him (insecure and angry). We have been married for 13 years and have two wonderful boys together and they are a big reason that I haven't left (I don't want them to suffer without thier father living with us). i have the financial means to take care of my family...I am so hurt and don't know how to deal with this. I am confused. Someone give me some advice..please don't joke, because this is not a laughing matter for me or the best interests of my family. We had so many plans together and it feels like everything has been ruined..why do they keep cheating?Why does it hurt some much? What should I do?
You Married For Better or Worse so Stand By Your Words and Work Through ThisWhy does it hurt some much? What should I do?
Find a good Christian Marriage counselor and let him help both of you through this situation.





You can usually find one by looking in your phone book under Southern Baptist or Independent Baptist churches and call their Pastor; he will either offer such a program or be able to refer you to someone who is competent to counsel you.





These programs are usually free or maybe just a small charge for material used.





Greybeard
Confront him.


Stay with a friend or family member


for a week or two and think over things


if you think its best to leave then pack your stuff up


and your boys and get out. don't feel bad.


if you think you could work things out then


talk it over with him and get the numbers to those


women and beat their @$$ ahaha just kidding about that


part


GOOD LUCK!
when the one we trusted our heart with betrays us, its so hard to get the love back, if ever. really depends on his level of remorse, and willingness to get some kind of therapy. sometimes u are just too hurt to carry on, and nothing u would do would bring it back. just don't be so fast to make a decision, give it some time to see if things change.
Once a cheater, always a cheater. These are people born without the ability to value the feelings of those around them.





I was married to a woman who cheated on her first husband. Somehow I was surprised when she cheated on me, too.
I don't know your religious beliefs but here is what has worked for many in our town. Our church offers free counseling to married couples. It has worked for every one of them. Im sure there is a church that does the same in your town. Good Luck and may God bless your marriage
I am not sure where you live but I wonder if there is a group in your area that you can talk to other people in your situation. It sucks having your life swept away like that an having to start over. Good luck to you.
Hun take him how he is, or leave, thats about it, sorry men are dogs.He does it because you allow it to happen
I think once a man has cheated although at first they feel guilt, they enjoy the excitement it brings them and a second time etc., is easier. You need to sit down with him and tell him that being together is not healthy for you or your children, because they will pick up that things are wrong and this could in turn affect their relationships as they grow older.





Trust is a hard thing to get back and it sounds like he hasn't been trying very hard to regain your trust. Ask him if you can sell the house and then you can regain your confidence and move on with your life.There is no point in you staying together anymore. He played a game and lost you, his lose.





Good luck.
Everyone goes through there up and down. Sometimes is not us, they just claim that there bored what an excyse. but the reality is theres is no excuse when you love someone you escape from temptation. Is not like they where seeing each other but they spoke and it sure intertain him. My advice is to pray for a miracle and ask God to retore your marriage if you love him. Trust it has to start again.. Its gonna be okay, the healing comes from above.. lv princess
Some men are just like that, it depends on their attitude to love and relationships, perhaps that ultimately comes down to their upbringing or events that have occurred in their life. Not everybody cheats, but I do believe that once a cheat they are always a cheat. Why? Because they have stepped beyond a boundary, and theres no way of going back since they've already decided to disregard the feelings of their loved ones.





It depends on what your priorities are. If your priority is your family life then that is a valid reason to stay together. Not everyone that is married is violently in love with eachother, they are probably together because it works even without passion etc. It really depends on what you want out of the relationship. Are you really ready to head a single parent household? Will your children grow up well despite this?





Someone told me they cheated, it took 6 years to recover, but the point is it eventually did. Its not impossible if you want to give it another go.





Consider your options, talk to family, run through scenarios in your head, write down your feelings on paper. It helps the thought process sometimes.
You need to pack his bags and send him walking. If you can financially support yourself then do it. The kids can still have their dad...just not constantly. You deserve the chance to find love with someone who will respect you, your family, and your union. He has been caught and warned and still did it again. That just says that he doesn't care. Why are you still with him? I know its hard to split a family but you didn't do it...he did. He chose to step out repeatedly! You ultimately have to live with the decision that you make..with or without him. In my opinion though...if you don't send him packing it lets him know that no matter what he does he always has a bed to come back too. next time it may not be phone calls either. Good luck.
It hurts because you love him and he has not show love in return to you .





I Think you should ask HIM to pack his bags and leave for a while!





think it out........OR.....Why dont you go for a Trip with a girlfriend for a Week...let him watch the boys ..do all the stuff








he has taken you for granted and you have allowed him to.
he wants to see what he can get sex, beauty,playboy style,he's surfing around,to see really what he wants and also theres something wrong in the relationship to cause him to do this do u all have sexual problems r u sexy enough for this man? try being really sexy in bed and out of bed and see how he does he looking for something, but i dont agree on him doing you this way its totally wrong,i no how you feel living there with him and not happy with your marriage,its very hard especially when the kids are involved...good luck
it hurts so bad because we expect ourselves to be so close to perfect and when this happens its a slap in the face telling us that we are not! If him cheating on you is below your standards then you should leave him...you can compromise in life but never belittle yourself for no one! Your kids will be fine as long as they have an excellent support system that lets them know that this is normal and it is not their fault! DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY! and never sell yourself short!
You obviously do not love yourself enough to get yourself out of that situation. Staying in the same home while ';separated'; I never understood that. When you separate you two separate, that means different homes.





My parents were married for 23 years and she kept saying me that the reason she never left my father was because of my brother and I. Not a good excuse if you ask me. You can't stay miserable in a marriage for the sake of the children.





You need to tell him to leave your home or YOU leave the home with your boys. My grandmother said this once when I was a little girl while my mother's oldest sister was going through a separation and she was in the same position as you: ';If mom is not happy, NO ONE is happy'; That stuck in my head and I saw how unhappy my mother was that it got to the point that I suggested a separation for the both of them, come to find out they were waiting for my brother and I to move out or get married to file a divorce.





Cheaters never stop. Even if their learn they lesson, temptation will be there and they will give in.
You know in your heart what the right thing to do is. The thing you have to get over is the fear of the unknown. Your boys already know something is wrong because their mom and dad are sleeping separately and acting differently. I firmly believe that it is better to teach your children how to be happy and stand up for themselves than it is to keep them in a home with two parents who are angry and resentful. This will only teach your children that you don't have enough respect for yourself to demand better and that what their father did was alright. You don't want them having that mindset. I suffered through this as well. I found out that my now ex-husband was calling one of his female co-workers at home and talking for extended periods of time while I was out of the house. When I confronted him he tried to make me feel insecure, jealous, immature, etc. I told him that regardless of how he thought I should feel, him calling her repeatedly and talking for hours at a time was something that made me unhappy and that if he loved me, not calling her shouldn't be that hard a choice. He agreed. I later found out that he was having an affair with her. He also moved to a separate room and said he wanted us to work things out and all the usual things. All the while he was still seeing her. I threw him out. Our divorce was final in November of that year and he married her in April of the following year. I wasted 11 years on this man, the last two after finding out he was cheating. So, do NOT second guess yourself. Where there's smoke, there's fire. If he is not willing to put your family first then he needs to GO. Do not waste another day of happiness on this person who makes you feel badly about yourself. Everyone deserves happiness in this life and it really is going to be ok.