Should I forgive my wife? Or is enough, enough?

It has been exactly 1 year since my wife cheated on me. She was and is still fighting wife a prescription medicine abuse issue. This was, according to her, the reason for the affair. I have forgiven her for the affair, but I have not forgotten it. My only stipulation was that she not use anymore. She has. Each time I see her under the influence I am reminded of the affair. I know that this is the most passionate affair that she will ever have (methadone) even more than me. How much longer should I deal with this before I let her go? I still love her but everytime I see her under the influence it reminds me of her infidelity. This makes me hate her for what she did and what she has become. I feel I deserve better than this. Any similar advice would help.Should I forgive my wife? Or is enough, enough?
If your only stipulation was that she not use and she has - why are you still with her? She is making her choice, how about you?Should I forgive my wife? Or is enough, enough?
How could your life not be better without her?





20 billion women on this planet. Choose another one.
here is the secret to forgiveness. It is not earned or deserved, it is simply a function of necessity. Is your life better off with it or without it. If you want the relationship to continue regardless of what she has become then you need to forgive to make that happen. If you don't want it to continue then you need to realize that you can never forgive, because no matter how hard you try it will always ring hollow, knowing that in reality you don't forgive instead you despise.
She has no respect for you at all. She knows she can get away with bullsh!tting you and doing whatever she likes. You cant help someone who is not prepared to help themselves.


Enough is enough.
try getting her into counsoling and or rehab. that will get you started and as that goes along you both will have counsoling and then you can make up your mind to leave or not.. if you really love her like you say then you would try to help her get off that stuff. i know only she can decide to do that but its the drug in control not her. if she wants the help get it for her and you.. make sure youve gave it your 110% and that is all you can do. if it dont work it just dont work.. good luck
wow, drug abuse as an excuse for any behavior you may experience.





caught sleeping with the football team - ';it was the drugs, not me';.





get rid of the drugs! But I don't want to. I love the drugs more than anything, including you!





GET OUT!!!!!





the longer you stay the more this is going to make you hate women in general.
If you're reminded of the affair and it still causes you anger suggests that you haven't forgiven your wife. Yes, you've stayed with her, but you haven't forgiven her.





I suggest you both take couples counseling.
Sorry to hear of your situation. Been there, done that. My husband cheated on me after 10 years. Never would have believed the relationship would survive. No one says when I grow up I want to be a drug addict. Drug addiction is a symptom of being unable to live life on life's terms. Others exhibit different symptoms gambling, sex, shopping, food addiction take your pick. Persons who can't live life on life's terms self medicate with whatever they find to ease their pain. Some addictions are more acceptable than others. It is usually the result of poor family relationship/modeling, physical, emotional or mental trauma or injury. There is evidence that substance abuse/addiction is a genetic predisposition we inherit. The addict has to decide that the addiction is no longer working for them, no one else can. How long has she been an addict? My husband was an addict for 30 years, he is now in recovery. But he couldn't do it for me, our marriage or family. He had to do it for himself. You don't say whether she loves you. Consider an intervention and a separation, perhaps that would be enough of a shock for her to seek help. Define a time frame i.e.; if after six months if she hasn't tried to change her behavior, consider the final step of divorce. If you have given it all you can, should the time come to walk away you will have no regrets.


Good luck and God Bless.





Edit:


Forgiveness is not a boomerrang you send out and then take back again and again. Forgiveness is for you not her. Once you have truly forgiven the resentment, hostile feelings don't return. Resentment is the poison I drink waiting for you to die.
I have a no tolerance policy for drug abuse, period the end. Let her go. Its over. Don't allow yourself to be affected by her problems. It's clear she's not willing to help herself, so why should you waste you time trying to help her any longer?
Maybe if you leave her she will get the help she needs. Sometime by you staying %26amp; putting up with it you are in a sense ';enableing her habit %26amp; abuse %26amp; even the cheating. It is like saying it is ';ok';. ';I will put up with it';. You cannot help someone that does not want the help. She is still betraying you each time she uses. She may be addicted but it does not make her unaccountable for her actions. Just like if she were to murder someone or rob someone while under the influence, the law would not ';excuse'; her since she was using. She is still responsible for her actions. She is an adult %26amp; knows the right thing.


Good Luck


Your leaving may just wake her up %26amp; she may get the help she needs. But do not threaten to leave when you do not mean it or play games with her. Just explain to her that you cannot continue to live like this %26amp; won't.
You do deserve better than that. She's putting those drugs ahead of you, addiction or not. Divorce her and get her a taxi to a reahb clinic.





Will all you BABIES stop whining about her addiction? This guy didnt shove any drugs into her.
It doesn't sound like you love her anymore. I'm also concerned about you saying that you ';deserve better.'; That sense of entitlement indicates you have issues other than her chemical dependency.





Infidelity is more common that you probably think and it's been around since the dawn of time. In college psych class, we were shown studies that estimate US infidelity between 40-70% percent. It's usually a sign of poor communication and one or both of the spouses feeling ignored.





I would forgive my wife for infidelity even though she may not do the same for me. I would try to find the underlying reason for it. She's not my property, she's my best friend.
Well I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I could not be with my wife if she was with another man. I don't care what I did.
You obviously still love her very much to be asking a question like that in a forum like this. However, can you say that you are still 'in love'? Love comes in so many different forms but its the 'in love' stuff that keeps a romantic relationship together.





You are probably more scared of being without her and think you can somehow continue - 'better the devil you know...', however, you do deserve to be happy and there is somebody else out there for you, probably many.





Whether the drug is a chemical or infidelity - both in your case, or gambling, something has come between you and your trust has been taken away.





If you are worried about abandoning her, then turn your love into caring love and let her live her own life without tearing at your heart.





If you really don't know, then try a separation. If you cant hack it then you both need to get some help and fight these demons together.





Good luck!
Fvck her man. She doesn't even TRY to get off the drugs for you. She is not your wife anymore, she belongs to the chemicals.





Sorry, I know exactly how drug abuse can rip apart a family, I know. :(





I hate drug addicts as well, they made the choice to become what they are and they deserve the consequences. YOU don't deserve the consequences of her actions. And sorry, but how the hell can drug abuse be a reason for infidelity?? It doesn't make sense, and it doesn't make sense for you to stay with her.
Some addictions are impossible to break. After a year of promises, your wife is still addicted. You might as well bite the bullet and tell her she made her choice. You DO deserve better than a drugged-out wife.
If your relationship is bad enough that you have to depend on other peoples answers then yes. Enough is enough.
Mate, you both deserve better actually. Whilst she has clearly made some poor choices in the past I'm sure she wishes she could have her time again.





I have never been in your position (thank goodness) but would like to think I would stand by her until she is at least healthy and no longer dependant.





I think it is the partners responsibility to stand by their partner until they are better - then made the decision on what to do. But that is just me.





Good luck - I'm sure no choice will be easy.
have u tried tog et her into a treatment center meth is no good at all and i do drugs to but my friend was hooked on meth and u should see how bad off she gets if we cant find coke or something she will go smoke crack n the bathroom its no good hun u should help her its hard to stop using especially something as extreme as that
When she is not under the influence, tell her she has to make a choice, either the methadone or you, and mean what you say.
Hi, You may have forgave her but the cheating is eating you alive. Your wife need to get into some kind of counseling for her drug problem. But she will have to want to quit or it will not work. Just remember the old saying, '; ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER';. I wouldn't be able to forgive anyone I was with if he ';CHEATED ON ME';. And that is one of the reason I divorce the CheaTer and being abuse wasn't a walk in the park either. You have to make-up your own mind on this.


A Friend,


poppy1.
How old are you??? do you take drugs?? Can you see yourself with her forever?? Will she raise you children sober and with good beliefs??