Does Virginity Matter that much?

Dear readers...





I have been with my partner for 5 years. We never dated. We met in a cult and pretty much stuck to the no dating rules. LOL But we did become ';roommates'; and have been in a relationship living together ever since. After 6 months, we were kicked out of the group. I was in the cult for 5 years and my partner was only there for 2. So I was devastated and living in a city where I knew no one and my partner had many friends. From now on my partner will be referred to as Partner.





HISTORY


I did have a nervous breakdown from the first month we were kicked and was a sappy sort for almost 2 years about it. Despite all the friends that he introduced me to, I was still miserable. I became good friends with Partner's family and even Partner's first love and their fiancee and we would hang out a bit.


Eventually Partner got fed up with my misery and my want to go back to the cult that Partner started hanging with friends without me and connecting back with other friends. Then Partner ran across the EX Partner left to join the cult group. They had an affair and meet a few times. But when the lover wanted Partner to leave me, and I found out, Partner stopped all communication with EX.





I went to counseling and eventually got over not going back to the cult. We became to understand each other; that we had been together only a few months and we did not know each other well, that we did not expect each other to behave as we did. But we decided to work through it. I promised to work through my depression, and Partner was an open book with telephone records, passwords, bills, credit card usage... everything.





QUESTION


Now what I want to understand is this. Since Partner created the first sexual experience for ';EX'; years before I came around, and then with the affair, why should they keep in touch or why should they not keep in touch? I ask this because I want to be objective. I have de-virginized someone before and they still send me a message 10 years later that I can always go back to them. Of course- I would not consider it. I believe in staying friends with Exs because I believe that if you loved once then how could you not care later?





DISCUSSION


So now that Partner has proven faithful for 4 years I don't know how I feel about Partner keeping in touch with EX. But it is up for discussion. Here are the sides.





SIDE 1


EX does have an early treatable cancer and still wants Partner to leave me. Partner feels that Partner proves love for me, is not distracted by EX, our future is priority, and that Partner can have friends without acting inappropriate. Partner adds that because of Ex's first time that Ex will never forget Partner. Partner feels that this should not be a big deal because the only intentions that matter, ours, are clear. (And for those that ask why are we not married legally - we don't believe in the relationship between government and marriage. It's not like marriage stops infidelity anyway. HAHAHA)





SIDE 2


FEAR! FEAR!! This might turn into something that I can't control. And that it might change my life. Acting possessive, jealous, and insecure will only break us quicker. Maybe I feel resentment that I must accept.





What do the reader think?Does Virginity Matter that much?
You must demand that he stop communicating with her in any way. You're depressed because you're being treated like crap. If he refuses to stop talking to the EX, then you'll have to leave.