I am having some irritation with one of my husband's female friends....?

Here's the deal:


my husband has female friends, I also have male friends, we are NOT concerned with infidelity or any of that crap...I know that a lot of people wouldn't be able to deal with it, but we do.


Pretty much all of his female friends are at first a little cautious about me, as are my male friends (IE: is your wife okay with us hanging out?). He's got this one friend that he's known for quite a few years, and they've recently been able to hang out a little more and have gotten closer. I'll call her ';Lucy';


The issue I'm having is that he's basically having to reassure her ALL the time that I'm cool with the whole thing.


The other night he was at a ';band rehearsal'; (the space that they use is right next door to my house), and ';Lucy'; showed up to listen to the guys play. One of the guys that he plays with came over to my house and he looked a little down so I asked him what was going on and he said that him and my husband had kinda gotten into it and that my husband was pretty mad. (they're in a band together, head-butting is going to happen, they're guys they'll get over it) I slipped on my shoes to walk over and talk to my husband, just to try and make sure he wasn't too mad. I walked in, my husband was packing up all their equipment and ';Lucy'; was helping. My hubby says ';hey babe';, I said ';is everything cool?';. ';Lucy'; drops what she's doing goes out the door, slams it behind her, jumps in her car and drives off. She never said a word to me. When we get back to the house the guys have a talk, smooth everything over, apologies are made, etc. The other band member says to my husband ';we should probably call ';Lucy';, I think we might've freaked her out'; (the guys were yelling at each other and nearly came to blows, so someone who isn't used to them, might get nervous....i never worry about, I know how all the guys deal with each other). So, my hubby rings her up and she tells him (I can hear her end of the phone call) that she just didn't want to deal with any ';bull-****'; with me. She was under the impression that I went over because the 2 of them were alone. He told her AGAIN, that I was not concerned with her. He even offered to have me speak to her.


I asked my husband if she had made a pass at him or done something that she feels guilty about. Typically people that are worried about suspicion being cast on them, worry about it because they're doing something suspicious. He said that she's not done anything untoward, she's just worried that she's going to somehow cause problems in our marriage.





I told my husband to invite her over to the house so we could all sit down and have dinner together, and maybe then she would see that I'm not some crazed, bitchy, jealous wife.


But, now I'm thinking about telling him that I don't want to deal with someone that behaves like that. I really don't deal well with insecure people, women especially. Honestly, I don't want to be friends with her, it's just not important to me.


Has anyone been in a situation like this, or does anyone have any insight?I am having some irritation with one of my husband's female friends....?
She is jealous of you, she wants your husband and can not see any way around you,you are better off without her around. If she is so worried about what you think or your marriage she wouldn't come around then would she.I am having some irritation with one of my husband's female friends....?
You may not be too far off base with this one. Some years ago I had a lover. We shared a place together early on. Soon it was, nights that I ended up having to stay late she was suspicious. I don't care much for T.V., but her favorite shows were ';Jerry Springer,'; and ';Cheaters.'; Her suspicions became such that I became worried that a female client might see me and say ';hello'; and then all hell would break loose before we got home. She would check my pockets and my cell phone looking for unfamiliar numbers.





I had to go out of town for a couple of months. Not long after I returned that I found out from her mom that my good friend ';John'; had been looking out for her while I was gone, as a favor to me. Problem was, of course, I didn't know any ';John.';





There's an old saying: ';The guilty dog barks first.'; Sometimes I guess that's true.
She wants him. She needs to go.
I think it is cool that you and your husband have that kind of relationship...however I think she may feel more for your husband than he feels for her or she may just be a drama queen either way you are not going to win this battle but inviting her over to show her that you are cool with everything was great on your part...just remember it is only one night after that hopefully she will get over it and things will be fine if not she is the one who has to deal with the feelings and you can sit back and have a good laugh...just don't let her get the better of you
She wants him, and she knows that you will be able to see thru her garbage if the 3 of you are alone together. She's shady...all that running away sh!t is guilt. Plain and simple. She wants him to tell her over and over again that she's not a prob and that you are not suspicious, so that she can break down his walls and make her move. You have given her more than enough opportunity to be civil, and she refuses. She is a friend that needs to be unfriended....lol. I have been in a situation like that one, and usually, where there is smoke...there's fire.
Hmmm....it actually sounds in all honesty that 'lucy' may like your husband a little more than he realises and she thought she would. The slamming door thing when you walked in might be subconscious on her behalf because it may have annoyed her that you arrived, full stop and that's how she dealt with it. I think she may have a little more feelings for him than she'd like to admit, trust your own instincts.
Honey, she's not trying to avoid making problems in your marriage, she's actively trying to make problems. She would not be so worried if SHE didn't have an agenda. Tell him to tell her that if she's that concerned over your feelings, she can either talk to you about it and work it out, or she can not come around anymore.
You sound like a woman with her head put together. But let me give you a little insight. I was the same way with my husband. Althought you both are very open and not jealous about each other hanging out with the opposite sex, be aware of this kind of women. I've been here and done this. She feels guilty because her inner feelings are guilty. She is pursuing him and MEN (LIKE MY HUSBAND) are stupid to this. Women are subtle and flirt little by little.





If she feels GUILTY----- SHE IS GUILTY!!!!!! Otherwise she wouldn't have went running out at the littlest thing you said. Adviously she feels guilty (for some reason) possibly her feelings aren't pure with your husband and she was afraid you'd see threw her. Because that's one thing we women have is a GOOD SENSE/GUT FEELING. We can see threw most anything. So you don't have to get all jealous and crazy.....but just be a bit more aware of this one gal.
Wow I have to give you props because most women would not be so patience. I would say do the dinner just to prove her wrong and leave it at that. If she continues to be weird you should have a talk with your husband. Maybe he doesn't need a friend like that. You are the wife and she is the friend. You come first. But be strong and be the better person.
Well, I think you're right. She's overly concerned that she is causing a problem between you, kind of sounds like she's expecting to. Both you and your husband should simply cut her out of your lives. Why deal with someone who is waiting for the drama?
Okay assuming that you are telling the full story and not leaving any pieces out...';Lucy'; is a stage 5 PSYCHO. If she feels like she is going to cause problems in your marriage then that is a red flag...I say this because I have mostly guy friends and while I don't get along with all of their girlfriends I would never create such a spectacle unless I had some kind of hidden agenda or was just crazy. I mean think about it...you said you had guy friends, what would cause you to behave that way aside from being crazy? I don't think you husband is doing anything wrong based on what you have said but it's very clear that this woman is very jealous and/or paranoid which isn't a good combination. If this person is important to your husband than making an effort would be appropriate but I would talk to your husband first to see if their was a reason she behaved that way or if she's always like this...or if he thought that was a weird way for her to react?? Otherwise I would RUN not walk away from this person and her suitcase of drama....it sounds like she is wanting undivided attention from your husband and has no problem disrespecting you in order to get it.
It seems to me she knows you are cool about it and that your hubby is and that is what she doesn't like I think she wants to cause trouble and is playing the game and even though you feel no threat from her it's working all the same she is having an effect.She's trouble she doesn't like the fact she isn't an issue so she's storming off and pulling your husband aside in the pretense she's concerned it will cause problems when she knows exactly that will all have an effect.She wants to be as idolized as you and is trying to act the victim to win him over.
I have and it usually shows one of a few things:


The female friend has some mental or security issues


The female friend wants to be more than a friend and is jealous or obsessed


The female friend feels guilty or wants to make you feel guilty


The female friend is trying to stir up trouble and is playing games.





My best advise is simple: Keep your eyes open. Hope for the best, but be prepared for the absolute worst to happen. Be honest with your husband. Don't hide your feelings, but don't explode like she did.
yeah. here is some insight. she has a thing for your husband. i agree. you or your husband shouldn't have to deal with someone like her. she is a bag of DRAMA and sooner or later her true colors will come out. beware of her.
it happens to every one when yu husband or yu friends from opposite sex.some misunderstanding might have arisen due to words or actions from both sides.so better not to mess with yu husband friends and leave them alone and if situation arises then yu can talk to them or tell them openly.so it better to sit on the fence and they themselves deal with their problem.but at the same time don't annoy yu husband with yu guidance or some nasty words about lucy.keep quite.
she sound like a very supportive and caring friend to your husband throwing a fit like that





she getting possessive and she maybe a little mentally unbalanced