Though there is a great deal of laudatory and self-serving statements in what you've written, it is hard to say that you alone are the victim here.
People have affairs for all sorts of reasons, the most of which is being neglected or ignored or plain lonely in the marriage.
You could put your wife in jail, but it only proves to the world that you failed to give her what someone else chose to give her freely. That is, she was not receiving the love and respect that she wanted out of the marriage.
Worse of all, punishing your wife will not fix your marriage, and your daughters will probably never forgive you for it either.
If this is how the world treats people, then the person likely responsible is the one who fails to love.
If you love your wife, then you need to spend time with her. And this means listening to her, what she needs from you, what she wants from you; and doing for her that which she likely deserved in the first place.
Being rich, a good provider and so on is fine. But without the kind of emotional attachment and love there, the marriage is going to fall apart. This happens all over the West the East and the entire world.
Think about it and do that for her. Ask her what you can do.
And, try and heal each other. Instead of hurting like this, forget the past, forgive her and work on it.
Or let her go, give her a means to live on her own, and let her have her children.
Its your choice. But cruelty and prison are not the way to go.Why would my wife cheat on me?
Your wife is a tramp that doesn't care about how you feel. It wouldn't matter what you do for her, she's thinking with that thing under her skirt, and forget the consequences. Kick her out and throw her spare shirt after her. She can go live with her boyfriend.
Why do so many responders automatically think that when the husband cheats it's the husband's fault, but when the wife cheats, its still his fault? Sluts DO come in both flavors, you know.
women don't cheat for sex they cheat for affection.you can have all the money in the world it wouldn't make a difference if you weren't loving.And what an example to send your 2 daughters if you sent her to jail.They wouldn't love their daddy much.So just think about forgiveness and try to be a loving husband ok
Ask her what this other person was doing for her that your were not doing. Then do that for her. Tell her when she wants you to do something new or different to tell you or have her lead you through what she want you to do. Then you will know what she wants and how she wants it. Tell her that you are not a mind reader. Do not do it in a nasty way but so she will know that you want to please her in any way to make her happy no matter what it is. That way she will not have to stray. Good Luck.
one reason: you are CONCEITED. your very high opinion of yourself can make you very unattractive, and THIS is probably what happened. I'm not condoning what she did, but you need to own the probability that your attitude may have driven her into the bed of another man. until you change you, she may never love you like you want her to.
You being a great provider does not mean you provide her with the love and affection she needs. Sometimes, if a woman feels as though her husband isn't passionate enough she will seek the passion elsewhere. The only way to find out is if you talk to her and find out why she did it.
alot of explanations:
1- strong sexual desire with paraphilia, some people look straight but have some deviation from normal. young like to sleep with very old , short with tall , blonde with black.........etc .
2-she has a feeling u cheat her, or u already did.subconscious revenge .
3-this is her type, along time ago even before u know her, but u discovered late.
If she knew what could happen if she cheated and she still did it.... she will do it again. After all, she is getting off 'scot free' with cheating, so she will definitely do it again.
Number one! (Agreed)
You sure you didn't leave anything out? like all those times you slapped her, humiliated her, threaten her. That's the way men treat women in your country right!
there are different reasons why people cheat. they feel that have to full feel a empty need.
Where to begin.......
The person that you should be asking is her... Talk to your wife!
there could be too many reasons, but none of them gives her right to do that .. you mentioned all the good things you have, but didnt mention any of the negative part of you, or where is the lack in your relationship with your wife.. maybe the attention, maybe you took her for granted, lack of communication, and again, nothing gives her the right to do so..
another thing is that it is not necessary that there was something wrong from your part, and you dont have to blame yourself....
what is next, is up to you, it is a decision you make now and you work on it .. no one can blame you if yoiu get a divorce, but also no one can blame you if you want to work things out ..
you love her, you have to girls, it is not the ideal situation to get a divorce, especially if yuo feel that she regret what she did and she is not willing to do it again in the future .. dont obey to ';once a cheater always a cheater';, it works sometimes, but some people do learn from their mistake and it is not necessary that she is gonna do it again ... but it is for you to evaluate and realize if she will or wont do it again...
now if i consider that you decide to work things out because she deserves the second chance, you have to forgive her, and give her the chance to make it up for you .. you dont have to talk about that , you dont have to dig in the details, you dont have to ask why, you have only to make sure she regrets it enough for not making it again... you dont have to bring it up each time to you fight, you have to let her know that you forgive her, so she can try to make you forget, you have to beleive that you can work it out, if you beleive in that you can do it then yuoc an do it, this is the part you have to do , and the rest is for her, if she really love you she will know how to make it for you, how to let yu forget, and how to earn your trust again... it happends for too many couples before, it worked for some of them and the relationship became even stronger than before, and some of them have failed to make it work... i know you are hurt, and this is a hard situation, but if your wife is a good person and you beleive she deserves a second chance, then this is the best things for you to do ...
good luck ....
Ignore the advice that she did it for a reason and that you failed somewhere.Nobody in this world can ever make another entirely happy.The quest for ever-lasting happiness is what human effort is all about.We try our best or the least depending on our individual capacity.And to blame you for your wife's indiscretion after 13 years of marriage and two girls ,is highly deplorable and please don't give a damn about any or all of it. What would she teach her girls in future,emulate her when it comes to controlling emotions.Who would sympathize here with a cold-blooded criminal who plans and executes a death sentence on his fellow human being.For me ,cheating is equal to emotional murder.
Cheater don't cheat for a reason.It is the other way round .They fall in love with another for a REASON,which will always be there and so the cheating inevitably follows.Will somebody here tell me how one can ever cheat her spouse if she has not found her love already?Cheating fails to divide a family but love does,it(Love) is too strong a force that it can destroy and destabilize as well as create and unify.When any of the factors are interlocked as it happens in cheating ,it is love that prevails,not cheating unless there is not way out.
You don't have to do anything nasty to get even with you wife.She is after all the mother of your children who you love.So end the marriage as soon as possible and take care of your children and even your wife,financially and mentally , like a Man and don't be mean to her in whichever way as such behavior only ruins your emotional well-being.If you can walk out your marriage without any regret ,just do it gladly.Living with a wife who cheated is not worth the effort as you can never forget it nor forgive her.You can only co-exist which is not that bad either as kids are involved here.
You are hurting and are in lot of pain which nobody can possibly take away,not even your wife with her sincere efforts restore what you have lost in the form of self-esteem,sense of loss etc.So don't pass this pain on,rather have your way without hurting anybody least of all your family which they were and are irrespective of the betrayal.
Well, to hear you tell it you're perfect. You're right, why would she fool around on you? I'm not sure which country you live in where divorce is not an option, but sending your spouse to prison for adultery is OK, but I can guess the general area on the globe. Here's an idea I'll bet hasn't occurred to you; ask HER why, why, why? Probably, if you really thought about it and were honest with yourself, you'd most likely be able to answer the question yourself. She was probably feeling neglected in some way, and the adulterous affair was her way of trying to fill a gap in her life. Your wife tells you you're excellent in sex. Did your Mommy tell you that you were very handsome?? Get over yourself, pal. If you were so impressive, you wouldn't be in this situation. You can either be a dick, destroy your family and your little girls, or man up and sort things out between you and the missus. And just so you know, it won't be the same afterward. It will either be much better, or very much worse. I'd say it is up to you which way it goes.
why people cheat?? because they're not getin what they want, so they wonder off having ';that somethin'; on the side that their significant other is not providing. being rich and being an excellent bread winner... doesnt make you having it all to keep her from cheating. have you been given her the attention she needs?, are you guys being intimate? or maybe lack comunication? theres lots of questions you need to ask yourself....!!!!? have a talk with her and c what causes her to do this. am sure theres a very good reason. talk it out...
Well, you seem to shower yourself with a lot of compliments, so you obviously feel very good about yourself.
You also make it a point to say that you could put her in the street broke and take her children away from her at your very whim.
So to be honest with you maybe you should have showered some of those compliments on her, maybe showed her some of the admiration you have for yourself.
You seem to be very clear that you have all the power and control in the relationship.
I'm not saying your a bad person by any means, but from what I'm reading it seems you are more concerned about your image and power than you are your wife's feelings.
So if she had an affair, it was probably because whoever it was with made her feel special and paid attention to her and her feelings.
Just because your successful, rich,....etc. doesn't mean that that is enough to keep a healthy marriage.
Your post gives the impression she should be appreciative of just being allowed to stand beside you.
I myself being a woman, can say that I was in a similar situation, I cheated when I had all the material things a person could want, yet the only thing that I couldn't have was the love of my husband he was too busy working and had taken a liking to making money, the saying of the more money you have the more you want was what took over his life.
I did love him, yet did not know how to get through to him, we never did anything together it was always him doing what he wanted and I looking after the kids. Then came along a person who showed an interest in me and I fell for it. Nothing came of it, yet it woke me up to the feeling of love, that I was not obligated to stay in a relationship where the love had died.
You will try to forgive, yet will she forgive herself?, somehow along the way her indiscretion will become an issue, you have to bring it all out in the open and make sure if you forgive you don't go back on your words.
Why would you want to keep someone against their wishes?, Why won't you give her her fair share in what you have both built together?, She bore you children, she took care of them while you amassed your dollars. YOU CLAIM love I see it as your claim of possession just like your dollars.
Let her go, if it was meant to be it would be. And yet you never know she may come back to you, but if you do take the stance of your not getting nothing and take away everything from her, her resentment of you will become tenfold and she'll begin to hate you instead of trying to love you again.
I love your country - Any PERSON who cheats should be sent to prison !!!!
Only you are able to answer if you will be able to move on with the relationship - she has not only cheated on you but she she broken any trust you have for her.
Did you ask her why she cheated, there is a few essentials that you forgot to mention (are you affectionate, do you fulfill all her needs, do you communicate how you feel about her etc?) there is much more to a relationship that just being ';an excellent provider, not being cheap,well mannered,educated, rich, handsome and great in bed';. Maybe this is the reason she has cheated................
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