How is one to behave when the moment comes in which her every suspicion is finally confirmed? When you realize that you were no more than a house pet to use at his convenience for years鈥hen he blames you for his cheating and disrespect鈥?When you register that this mind warping has gone on for this long and he took advantage of all you could possibly do for him鈥hen you realize that from all surgeries your chances of conceiving with someone who could truly love you have been shot..when you feel like you gave and gave and he took advantage of all things I hold dear鈥fter it all, you ask him to get away from you and quit hurting and he still wont leave鈥hen it all ends in a physical struggle because youre thinking about everything you鈥檝e lost, but still holding on to a shred of dignity in knowing im still alive through all of this鈥hen he throws you across the room when you insist that he leaves and you retaliate in defense of your physical pain and everything he鈥檚 put you thru鈥hen youre at work the next day bruised, limping, and in shock that it actually led to something like this鈥?br>
Why is it that I still feel like everything is my fault and that it was wrong to finally fight back? All the lying, the cheating, the alienation for so long鈥?allowing me to feel crazy and cry to sleep at night because he wont go away, but he can never love me or what was to be my children鈥 feel like I should be the one to apologize, but I know I didn鈥檛 do anything wrong outside of that last aggressive incident鈥?br>
And how can someone tear another down for so long if they can never love them anyway?
I know I sound pathetic to have let this happen鈥ut I still feel like I did something wrong in hitting him.Physically Spazzing on Manipulating Boyfriend Who Wouldnt Leave Me Alone?
Frist off you know why no one answered you but good old Brutal Honesty? BECUASE most people are doing the same thing! You know how you feel like YOU failed? YOU DID!!!!!! GREATLY!!!!!! You actually spent the whole darn thing explaining to me (because I can see how relationships actually work) how you FAILED YOURSELF!!!!!! Thats right, man you hate yourself, no offense, your anger at you for something, not being pretty enough, smart enough, rich enough, somethings allowing you to kick your own butt so that you were willing to tolerate this behavior. Also yes the big fight was wrong becuase that propietates you loving him. Which your not going to understand because you don't understand the true nature of love. You thought love was enough, this is the lesson you need to learn';
LOVE IS NEVER ENOUGH, NEVER, NEVER EVER!!!!! ITS HOW YOU LOVE, HOW, H O W!!!!!! THAT TRULY MATTERS!!!!!!!!!
You see how that works, you based your entire relaitonship with the assumption that love would help you thru it. What you didn't see is that he didn't have any intentions of changing HOW he loves you, he was contempt in abusing you and neglecting you, becuase YOU ARE THE SAME WAY TO YOURSELF!!!! He took advantage of your weakness of self, weather he realized that or not isn't the points, so people get these skills from their parents. All that aside you think to much to justify your own self neglect in attemps to keep this guy around. Shoot I have an extra room in southeast oklahoma I could keep you up in until you figure this crap out, but lets not go there. The point is THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY OUT!!!!!! YOU KEPT YOURSELF FROM SEEING A WAY OUT!!!!! So this is all your fault I can't say that enough, you won't see that for sometime, the cool thing is thou, your smart enough to feel it. So ether you CUT him out of your life, or your still loving him, your stilling failing you, and that makes it your fault. Which means this whole hell you've lived with, is your fault because you picked him, sorry that would be your frist step in recovery.
Sorry but true love, true friendship is about understanding a person enough to know when to brow-beat them, and when to give them a great big hug. This guy, you should of know to leave. So I'm going to brow-beat you, if you do, man I got a hug for you!
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