How do you tell a manipulative, controlling husband you're leaving?

We have no kids. Been married for many years. He's not phys' abusive, but is in other ways. I have friends/family support, but they're in a different state. I told him last week I want a separation. He said No. I have a disability which prevents me from doing a lot of things that a normal person would do in this situation, like just leave or get a job %26amp; support myself.





No infidelity happened on either of our parts, I just can't take him or care of him anymore, he's so controlling %26amp; is a very angry person, very hard to deal with. I have discussed legal aspects w/a lawyer %26amp; I'm seeing a mediator on Friday, But I need help from you.





How do I convince him I need a separation, how do I make him understand %26amp; get him to leave me alone. He won't go away. I don't want anything, just need him to back off %26amp; stop thinking I'm going to give into him %26amp; his ways anymore.





No, I do not want to get the law involved, I know I can, but I want to avoid that, for my sake as well as his, so please if anyone can give me advice on what to SAY or DO or how to ACT even, so that he ';gets it'; without too much more of his obstinate attitude, I would appreciate it so much. Thank you.


I really am desperate!How do you tell a manipulative, controlling husband you're leaving?
Sometimes getting the law involved can do more harm then good and sounds like in this situation it would do more harm.


You really need to be consistent with what you say and do it and dont change let him change your mind. Tell him sternly that you are leaving and this isnt working for you. Enough is enough.


I was in a similar situation but had a son with him way too earl, before i really new him and so many times i wanted to break up with him and he would do the whole 'i love you, im sorry, i will change' and i stupidly fell for it but then i decided enough was enough. Is there any domestic violence support centres around you that you could go to? Or you could possibly tell him your going on a short holiday to your friends or family's and just never go back home. You need to do this NOW!!! Sounds like your doing a great job already! Good Luck! And you can always email me if you want to talk :)How do you tell a manipulative, controlling husband you're leaving?
For starters do you have any friends or somebody around that can physically get you out of there? Secondly leave him a 'dear john' letter explaining your feelings and why you cannot be around him anymore. You need to be concerned about your safety and do not need to be around a keg of dynamite waiting to explode.
Why don't you just go live with your family in the other state? If you lived with him for so many years and you can't get him to agree to a separation, how would strangers who do not know him at all know how to 'convince' him? I don't see what the problem is. Just leave.
Controlling is one thing......Add anger, and it may be necessary to involve SOMEONE, for your own protection. If you have no one, perhaps check with your local crisis line, to see what they may have available to offer. ......or suggest. Best Wishes! 鈾モ櫏
you can just tell him. or just leave
Just hop on the bus, Gus. Don't need to discuss much. Just drop off the key, Lee and set yourself free. You don't need his permission!!!
Tell him you are done with him and that you don't want to be together anymore and is just not working out.
Get some help from friend and family.
If you don't want the law involved the you are on your own just leave while hes not there and don't contact him!
Pack your bags and just leave.
Um, you don't. Just leave.
tell him in an email .
Actions speak louder than words. If you still love him, and would like to stay married, I would suggest that you move out if you can. If you want to avoid further verbal abuse, don't say anything, just leave. When he calms down (if he ever does), insist that he get help for his anger issues before you will consider moving back in with him. Make sure you see a BIG change in his attitude before going back to him. Take care of yourself! If you have to move in with relatives or friends for a while. so be it Your sanity is worth preserving! I hope it all works out for the best. Get some wise counseling.
It sounds like if he could ';get it'; you wouldn't be in the position you are now. When you talk to your lawyer, find out what kind of orders you need in place to have him removed from the property. If you will be leaving, you just inform him that you are leaving and go. Getting him out of the house is harder, but you can have legal orders put in place and the locks changed. It all depends on the legalities in your state/county.
Just say this: I need some time apart. It is possible that after being apart a while I will want to come back. And it is possible that I won't and you will find someone else and that will be that. I don't want to make this any more unpleasant than I have to. I don't want to get a restraining order but that is up to you, I don't want to involve police but again that is up to you.





And you need to have a couple of physically capable relatives in the house - in another room who can help you pack and move out that same day. And you need to NOT tell him where they will be bringing you. If he has a gun, you need to make sure that either your family is armed or that they come get you when he is not home. This event might make him violent.