- We live together
- I had planned on proposing when she got back
- We both had never been in love before
- It 1st started with her random accusations of my infidelity
- She no longer became excited when we talked on the phone
- Everything we discussed before hand seem to go out the door
- She is in non-combat operations; I've been deployed there too
- While I was there, people were cheating all the time
- The more I pressed to open the lines of communication, the less I got
- The emails and calls became less frequent
- Her arguments aren't logical anymore. They're just filled with venom
- She admits to building resentment for lack of 'new' fond memories
- She only zones in on minority key words in our discussion and twists the intent. i.e I say '; Honey, I love you %26amp; we'll get through this. I'm not giving up yet'; She says '; Oh, so you're ready to throw in the towel every time we fight';.
- She suddenly brought up a ';money'; issue... never happened before
- I asked her if she cheated to please tell me. Says she's thought about it but hasn't.
- Always have to have the last word. And it's negative...
- I love her so much, been faithful and I'm hurting bad right now
- I've decided two days ago to stop pressing for ';fixing'; things cause it only makes it worse
- I just send emails of encouragement and love and patiently wait for a response
- I'm at a loss %26amp; my heart hurts.....how could someone go from loving you to treating you like a stranger off the street?
- Any advice or insight would help. Should I let go? If so how? Do I wait? Is it me? What's the deal?My gf deployed, everything was fine for the 1st 2mos. Then all of a sudden she went bat-**** on me. wtf ?
Don't phone, e-mail or text her, refrain from any forms of contact at all for a while. She will realise that she loves you and when she makes that phone call don't act all nice but don't get angry. Stay calm and collective and let her do the talking and after shes finished tell her how you feel.My gf deployed, everything was fine for the 1st 2mos. Then all of a sudden she went bat-**** on me. wtf ?
As you said, ';you've both never been in love before'; and as a first love separated, she's questioning and experiencing emotions, at being separated. She admitted to ';thinking'; about cheating, it very well could be she is finding interests/attractions in others.
It would certainly answer a lot, the anger is not at you, but herself, for not being able to choose, for having the feelings she does, for not being able to talk or express what she is feeling to you, fear of not knowing whats happening to her or how to tell you if she does want out.
If you do love her, the only thing i can suggest is that you email her one time and tell her, you think she needs her space, to figure out what she wants, what direction she needs to take, if she still wants to be in this relationship, or if she needs her freedom, all you want is the curtisy of being told where you stand when she does figure it out. Tell her you'll get in touch no more until she either requests she wants you back in her life and is ready to talk or that she's come to the conclusion to walk.
Hurt as it may, it needs to come to a conclusion, you need to know in what direction your going and if your going it alone for a while.
wow!What a letter! You definitely had my attention! Im sorry that you are hurting. so let me give you my opinion on whats going on by what you so diligently explained. first, my guess is that you may possibly be an extreme perfectionist. am i close to that statement at all? And if so then do you expect that from her? If so, not possible! its that simple. its not possible. since there is no such thing in anyone. you seem to me by your letter,that you are very structured guy,and like organization to the extreme. correct me if wrong, since im just feeling the letter and the way you presented it and i interpreted. Mostly i read all the ways she has changed up on your relationship which makes you in a most uncomfortable and unfamiliar place. you don't know whats going on and you don't like the unknowns. you have told us of all the new negative [you believe] behaviors that she has displayed, but i didn't read anything negative about you, and im not thinking that is such a fair thing. maybe that's the problem. let her be and think and say the truth to you. even that her heart has changed. don't change her[or try] and don't smother her and make her say things just to make her give answers that aren't meant. relax and if you love her give her patients,rather than impatiently push her. she will let you know where shes at in her heart with you a whole lot faster and honestly when you don't try so hard to get your answer and force her into giving you lies or quick responses to just keep things smooth. doesn't sound to me as you freely allow her to give herself to you as she may still want too or maybe she possibly doesn't want to if it comes down to you needing answers. since i believe you need them now. back off and let her decide. and whatever the answer ends in for the two of you, either, way remember the good times and wish her and yourself a future of happiness, life is but a journey, and we may not always enjoy the ride. but with every ride you take,you learn about who you are and what road you wanna take from previous journeys. good luck to the both of you. time tells all!
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