How can I best help my girlfriend deal with her adult daughter's hurtful behavior toward her?

My girlfriend has a 32 year old daughter who is so hurtful to her. The daughter is very friendly and supportive of my girlfriend's ex husband who my girlfriend divorced because of his infidelity toward her. He cheated on her for 14 years and was having unprotected sex with an IV drug using prostitute who had hepatitis c. He lied continually to her and had multiple ongoing bisexual affairs with numerous different gay, bisexual and prostitute drug users, all involving unprotected sex. He could have killed her. Yet, the daughter believes everything this loser tells her. He is not the girls father. My girlfriend has told her how hurtful it is to her that she doesn't believe that the guy cheated on her and endangered her life. The guy tells the daughter it never happened. The daughter will jump every time he asks her to do something and she is very supportive of him and even shops for him, he refuses to go into stores. She has no respect for her Mom. How can I help my girlfriend? She hurts!How can I best help my girlfriend deal with her adult daughter's hurtful behavior toward her?
The daughter is an idiot. About all you can do is be there for


your girlfriend, and try to distract her. Not so easy, I'm sure. Eventually the daughter will catch the ex in a lie, and then another, etc. then she will realize that he is everything her mother says he is. Let's hope that the daughter is not involved with her step father any more than shopping for him.How can I best help my girlfriend deal with her adult daughter's hurtful behavior toward her?
Sometimes a person wont believe that fire is dangerous until they get burned. I say let her figure it out for herself- she's 32, and until she learns she'll be nothing but a spoiled, protected brat.





I think that she needs to come face-to-face with reality.





Encourage her mother to take a step back. If the bf is as bad as you say, the daughter will probably come crawling back to her mom as soon as something goes wrong.
as i have never been put in a similar situation, it is of little credibility what i have to say. i will try to answer regardless.





from what i gather the daughter is acting destructive towards her mother because there is something that she(the daughter) dislikes about her. maybe - if the girl was attached to your girlfriend's ex, it's the fact she divorced him... but such a blind speculation is not orth anything. especilly since the person we are talking about is nowhere near adolescence anymore.





if she jumps whenever he wants something, then i think it's clear that she feels a kind of affection towards him. god knows why.


either that or she is afraid of something.





considering you are all adults, i would suggest a discussion. in it try to find out why exactly she acts destructive towards her mother, what exactly he said to her, why does she ';like'; him so much and why she believes him over her mother etc.


however, keep in mind that the fact you are dealing with adults will also make the whole business a whole lot more complicated, because adults do not like to change their opinions.





other than that, i have t outterly disagree with the first answer. it is not up to you how other people feel. if they are having a good time your only part is what you invested, the same goes if they feel bad about something. sometimes you can't help it. in this case, what could you do? ofcourse, you could go and ';fix'; it your own way, but what good would that do? it would only complicate things further.
This is entirely your fault.


You should jump into their whirling maelstrom of lies, deceit, and manipulation and fix it yourself.


Their happiness is entirely your responsibility.


You should quit your job and take this on, full-time, until it's settled.
Just be there for her when she wants to talk about how she is feeling. There isn't much that you can do about this. I am not trying to be rude here, but this is between your girlfriend and her daughther. This doesn't involve you, so you should stay out of it. I find it very hard to believe that you would willingly stay with a woman who has been exposed to every sexually transmitted disease possible as well as hepatitis c. Are you using condoms with this person? Have you been tested for sexually transmitted diseases as well as hepatitis c? If your answer is no to both, then you need to change that. I honestly think that this sounds like too much drama for me. This woman might be a nice woman, but no woman is worth risking your health or life over. Just get yourself out of this soap opera. Dump the girlfriend and move on with your life. It is best for you to do so. If you stay with this person, do not be surprised if you get some sexually transmitted disease or hepatitis from her. Good luck. Take care.