How does one forgive the deceit of infidelity?

I have had a feeling that my man has had sex with his ex wife since we have been together. I asked him to be honest with me and he came clean and confessed. He now feels great because he has got it off his chest, and I feel shocking. I told him if he was honest there would be no recriminations, but I have found that I am becoming increasingly hurt by the breaking of trust. I am having difficulties dealing with his abuse of trust. How do I approach this issue? I am so very hurt by his behaviour. Aside from this issue, we are vey happy together, have a great time in bed, he is good company, sends me wonderful cards and letters, and I do beleive he loves me.. Do i just forgive and forget? He had been married for 30 years to this woman before she woke up one day and decided to move out, so I guess I can uderstand why he did it. She drinks too much and shouts it from the rooftops if we are ever out together publically.. Do I try to get over tis, or am I just looking like an idiot...How does one forgive the deceit of infidelity?
I belieave this can only be truly answered by the person who is going through this very difficult emotional state of mine. So may I suggest you get some unbiased professional advise as soon as poss able. Talk it over with someone it may help the Paine. Best wishes stay stronger.How does one forgive the deceit of infidelity?
one a dog, always a dog. you will never trust him again or forgive him. yeah, he may have got alot off his chest but he put it all on yours. for some reason some ex's never stop sleeping with each other and sooner or later you'll become really pissed over it.
This is a tough one. I think it totally depends on the relationship. Is it worth it to you? When your trust in someone is broken it can take a long time for those wounds to heal over. Personally I could never forgive someone for infidelity, however I do believe that if the relationship is strong enough and the will is there anything can be overcome. If you really love him and want to be with him you will be able to bring yourself to forgive and forget. On the other hand if you have been at all doubting whether you want to be there with him, then forget him, leave. You dont need that ****.
It's easier to forgive than it is to forget, but you'll never be able to forget it if it's simmering away inside. This is definitely something that needs to be dealt with.


You need to tell him how you feel - surely he'll understand. He can't expect to drop a bombshell like that and just walk away from it.


You need to clear the air and let him know exactly how much damage he's done.


Once you've had it out with him, see how things progress after that.


Good luck!
Forgiveness is a good thing, but remember it is not the same thing as trust. That will take time.


I'm happy for you that you are trying to work this out.


Please have a serious conversation with him and explain that this really hurts you. Tell him that he will need to give you many reassurances that this will not happen again.


As for his ex- wife...don't even pay attention to her. She is not worth wasting your time thinking about. It will only serve to make you angry and anger is not healthy for you or your marriage.


Best of luck to you.
IF you have told him that you forgive him, then you need to put this behind you.





From what you say everything else is okay. Time will help you get through.





Cheating is a tough thing to overcome. No, you will never forget it. But you have chosen to forgive, and you need to make good on your decision.





As for his ex...ignore the fool. This is her loss. The more attention you give her, the more she will act like she has been. if you pay her no mind, she will grow bored. don't waste your energy thinking of her. she does not deserve it.





I firmly believe that anger is a very expensive emotion. I don't know about you, but I would much rather spend my emotions on someone I love....
just forget. the common psychology of a man when he uses a women for sex is to have fun, use and throw. just like an entertainment, and play. the big point - he came back to u, and told u only shows he loves u, and you mean a lot to him. just tell him its OK that he had fun with with his ex-, but you are not excited about the issue, and would appreciate if he would avoid his ex in future.





be calm and don't get furious over the issue, he is not emotionally stuck with his ex, and do not do anything so that any possibilities can be, like if u start making an issue out of it. its difficult but may be you can ask him if he enjoyed sex with his ex?
it will take awhile to forgive this, u may need therapy. your ego is hurt, and u feel unloved because of this. if your happy with the man stay with him and make the best of it, but once a cheater always a cheater its part of his character. he won't change and the cheating will probably continue, because i don't think he's over her yet especially since she broke the marriage up and not him.