How to deal with PROBABLY INFIDELITY?

Lately I've really noticed something is different about my husband. Sex, which used to be once every other day, is maybe once a week, sometimes less. He doesn't touch me affectionately, or say 'hey you look beautiful' anymore, he used to do those things many times a day. He isn't kind or gentle, he gets angry with me very fast. He says I am a ***** to him and tells me I'm controlling. I mentioned to him the other day I am worried about infidelity. Today I said that something is different about him, he started yelling about how if I think he's a cheater I should leave, divorce him, then he told me to shut up.





I am starting to feel like even though I don't really have proof, he has emotionally exited this relationship. He says he is stressed with work. I don't know how much of that is causing this.





How should I deal with this?How to deal with PROBABLY INFIDELITY?
It would seem to me that if he was innocent, he would be trying to convince you that he was being faithful to you. I have too often seen people who are cheating get very angry and defensive and try to make it appear that the spouse is crazy or trying to make trouble. This would be a red flag warning to me. His habits and patterns are changing and you need to observe what other changes are taking place in his life. He could well be stressed with work, but that shouldn't make him so defensive. I'd be very suspicious! Don't accuse, try to act normal and just monitor his activities and attitude with you and see if you are able to get more definite proof.How to deal with PROBABLY INFIDELITY?
He sounds very guilty of some form of infidelity, I know because I'm speaking from experience and my husband exhibited similiar characteristics prior to everything coming out in the open. You can only wait till time reveals itself. Soon it will all come to light.





Go to a support group, church, counselling.





Honestly though, he sounds like he has a guilty conscience and that's how they react, they take it out on us making it seem like we're the problem. Classic infidelity signs.
have the ';';dont ask, dont tell';'; policy. coz thats what he's giving you. and he will always deny it.





take a breather. this is not something that can be solved in a day. if you cant get someone to follow him discreetly, GPS his phone and his car and track him. email ids are so out of date now. you always need consolidate proof. even if he completely denies it, you can always take it as evidence for the court case. and trust me, this is getting there.





his behaviour is classic cheating. he is getting defensive, offensive and angry.





trust your hunches. 99% youre right. secure your finances for a last minute getaway and make sure you have a safe place to stay and that the kids are ok.
well maybe he changed because you changed... take a look at how you have been lately and see if anything was different with you around the time all of this started.. also, sometimes stress can creep in seemingly out of nowhere.. he could be going through something unexpectedly and you are an unfortunate casualty of this.. something at work, something with one of his friends, maybe he is evaluating his own life.... just be supportive and comforting and not accusing and see if that changes his attitude/actions toward you.
May be work is the problem,possible lay offs or cutbacks that he doesn't want to worry you with. Men can act like that when work is really stressful. I think you have nothing to worry about in the cheating dept. May be if you wait patiently for say a week without asking him why he has changed; he may open up. Good Luck.
sit him down and ask him how much do you love me.


are you cheating n ne way?


i have to question because you are becoming a diffrent person slowy but surely.





i have feeelings too and you have been smashing them away.


what am i suppose to really think with the actions and words you tell me?





i hate you and will leave you if you do not admit your feelings and


wheather or not your a cheating husband. because if i do find out and have proof we will


be seperated and not give a damn about you because you dont care about me.
Well, apologizing for assuming he's going to maybe perhaps be an a55hole would be a good start.





Then, ask him how you can help him manage his stress.





Also, ensure he sees his doctor to make sure he's healthy during this time of his life.
I'd recommend the book ';The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands';. Maybe it's not him...maybe it is you. I know...coming from a woman that sounds cold...but after reading that book, it put things into perspective for me. Seriously.
He is showing signs of some kind of deceit. If he is already pushing you away, then jump on the opportunity and leave. His lose will be someone else's gain. Don't make yourself miserable by putting up with his crap.
You are controlling and driving him away.
shut up, and stop being such of a controlling B**** just like he said. Hell, all of your nagging has my feathers ruffled.
He may be stressed out and it may be nothing but I did notice that his response to you thinking he was messing around wasn't ';No, baby, I wouldn't do that or No, that isn't even a possibility';. It seems like he skirted around the notion without lying to you or admitting guilt by saying that you should leave, divorce him, and shut up. It almost seems like he is at his end of the rope looking to let go but not wanting to be the person to blame for the fallout of the marriage, affair or no affair. Also, when a man is not cheating he can say 'no' in response to an accusation.
As a guy, I see nothing in here which would indicate infidelity.





What I get from his response is that you did something which upset him and he


has built a wall around his feelings. He uses anger to defend that wall.





Guys do not convey their feelings very well especially hurt.


This is not in our training and the stiff upper lip thing often rules.


In men hurt and anger are very closely related.





He has told you, he finds you controlling, are you?


That if you are questioning his fidelity that you should leave because you don't trust him.Did he give you reason to mistrust?


He is stressed at work , which means do not add to his stress level.


None of this says infidelity.


It says you did something which upset him at the emotional level.


Look for that reason and you may be a lot closer to the mark.





But then, it could not possibly be something you did now could it?