How do I deal with the fear of being Married?

I am getting married to an amazing woman in March (she is 27, I am 27), we have dated almost two years. During the first part of the engagement I had no issues and couldn't wait to be married, but as the day approaches I am so freakin scared. I keep thinking that I am not ready to be with the same person forever, (this has never bothered me before, why now?). I am worried about becoming a bad husband, through infidelity down the road; but there is zero basis for this currently, we completely satisfy each other. I feel like I should postpone the wedding to see if these feelings go away. Any advice?How do I deal with the fear of being Married?
Postpone the wedding.. if you've been together for 2 years what's another year?


You are scared, and that is normal... Could be a lot of things, could be nothing.. but why rush.. marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment.. and some people just don't want to be committed.


I know I will never marry again..


I was married for 10 years, then dumped for another woman, never even saw it coming..


It's a very important decision, take your time.How do I deal with the fear of being Married?
I answered your other question, and you gave me a thumbs down. Comparing my answer to other respondents, I have to say that you don't want to get married at all. I advised that you postpone it assuming that essentially you do want to marry her,. However, it seems like you just want confirmation that it's ok to feel that way, and to call it off.
Damn right, you should be afraid of getting married. All men are and for good reason.


Search the internet for male groups that will help you escape and start again in a new country with a new identity.
Well, it sounds like you know yourself quite well. If you are not ready, then don't do it and hurt both party with your infidelity. Are you willing to spend the rest of your wife til death do you apart? If I ask you that question right now and you even hestitate for 1 second, you are not ready. Good luck and I hope she will understand.
Damn you didn't even mention the fear of having a couple of kids with her and getting a divorce and her sucking your paycheck dry with child support and alimony. Lots to think about as a man.
I don't know... I guess sometimes you just have to acknowledge the risks, but keep on going nevertheless. Consider how frequent auto accidents are; every time you leave your house in the morning and get behind the wheel, you're running a very real risk of getting into a crash; I personally know several people who have lost their loved ones in a car wreck, and I myself have been in a couple of accidents (although nothing too serious). But do you even pause to think about it every time you get in your car? I don't think so. It would not be a functional way to deal with it. You COULD choose not to drive because of these risks - but think about everything you would be missing; doesn't it seem that it's WORTH taking this risk to get things accomplished that you otherwise wouldn't be able to?





Same with marriage; the rewards are great, but so are the risks. You have to look past the risks, it is the only functional way to do it. If you have decided that, in general, the idea of marriage appeals to you - it's destructive and pointless to invent every possible negative scenario and keep frantically asking yourself, ';what if';. Ironically (from my own observations and experience), it's not the unlikely wild scenarios that ruin a relationship, but the things that were there all along, out in the open, for all to see. Look for answers in your relationship as it is now; make a list of the concerns you have NOW, such as: ';she doesn't clean the house very well';, ';she tends to nag';, ';she leaves make-up stains on the bathroom mirror'; - any stupid little thing that bugs you. Then just meditate on the fact that none of it is likely to change in the near (or even far) future. Just ask yourself - do you feel comfortable with this particular combination of positives and negatives? This is the way of inquiry that is, IMO, most productive.





Bottom line is - yes, there are risks. But if you are to even have a chance at getting to the rewards, you have to get past this notion, and just enjoy your life. IMO, by postponing the wedding, you will be taking the first step towards the very destruction that you fear. It will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is only natural to have ';second thoughts'; of this nature, but you have to develop a way to deal with them in a realistic and a productive manner - just as you do when you're driving your car. Good luck.
You sound like someone who would cheat, given the right circumstance, later on down the road. Save both of you the heartache and the headache, don't get married.
If you are not certain about getting married, then don't. You will only cause a great deal of pain for yourself and the woman you love.





WAIT UNTIL IT'S RIGHT AND IT WILL LAST. FORCE YOURSELF TO GO THROUGH WITH IT AND YOU WILL END UP DIVORCED.