Getting MARRIED and SCARED!!!?

I am engaged to a wonderful, caring and very patient guy. But lately all I hear about is marriages falling apart and the percentages of people cheating. My sister just told me about a great-uncle of ours who had a girlfriend for years and everyone knew...including his wife. I dont understand how people deal with that. My other sister told me if you are not willing to try to work things out then you are not in love. But aren't some things just deal breakers?





I myself know that I CANNOT deal with infidelity/cheating. I wouldn't trust him ever again and I wouldn't want to be intimate again. I know there are plenty of ways to betray someone....not just sleeping around. But sometimes I think I lack the emotional/mental capacity for a relationship. I dont know if I could handle being hurt emotionally. Its happened so often that all I know to do is just leave the situation. But getting married is a whole new ball game. Sometimes I just get worried I wont be able to handle marriage. Has anyone felt this way....any advice (even if it is ';tough love'; advice) is welcome.





And for the record, I dont think my fiance is cheating (he is overseas and will be there for a while) but I worry about everything that could go wrong CONSTANTLY....does this mean I cant handle it? Is this at all normal?Getting MARRIED and SCARED!!!?
Marriage is something that a lot of people take for granted. If your fiance is a God fearing man who truly loves the Lord then you should have nothing to worry about. However, if your fiance is a non-believer, and will be there for a while without you, then there is about a 50/50 chance he may cheat on you. I don't know your fiance or his character so the only thing I can recommend you do is to inform him of your concerns and pray to God for wisdom and guidance in making the right decision. I will keep you in my prayers. Peace and God bless.Getting MARRIED and SCARED!!!?
I think if you were ready for marriage, it wouldn't matter what all of the polls said. You would know your fiance and know that he is the type of person who would never do that. If you aren't 100% confident yet that you can trust him, you are probably not ready for that step yet. Try spending some more time with him once he comes back from being overseas, and then see how you feel.
You say hes a wonderful caring and patient guy, Great for you. Don't listen to what other people say or the percentages of something that hasn't happened or may never happen at all. Be happy with what you have, he sounds like a wonderful guy that has only your best interests at heart. By the way congratulations and good luck.
Marriage is hard. I've been married for 18 years, but neither one of us has cheated. It's very important to communicate, and keeping the flame is hard, but you must. I'd suggest not having kids for at least 3 years though. That way you can be sure you really know him, and your not having to break up with kids involved. Good Luck!
Yes, cheating is going on. 50% of marraiges end up in divorces the first 3-5 years of the marriage.





But you have to go for it anyway.


You can't expect life to be great if you don't take risks.
Being constantly worried is normal before you get married. I have bee married for 15 years to the same man. I have been with this man for 16 years. We have never been happier than we r today
Yeah this is normal. I feel the same way. I want to marry some day, I believe in marriage, but all this **** scares the hell out of me.
Just talk to your husband to be. Talk about all the worries you have. Like you I see cheating as a deal breaker.
if you don't trust him don't marry him
Getting married definitely is a new ball game and its good that you know that but, at the same time try not to let those polls and hear say get in the way of your happiness. Many people cheat on their partners and sometimes there are things where it is a deal breaker but if you do love that person and believe in second chances, than go for it. I did, we were both at fault but we were both able to move past it and now our relationship is amazing. Dont be too worried! It will be okay and you will be fine.
The first thing I will tell you is that marriage IS NOT EASY!!!!! Anyone who says it is needs a slap upside the head. You will not ';love'; each other 24/7. You will wonder once in a while what on earth were you thinking when you took your vows.





Now, there are 2 things I think are vital for getting through rough times: respect and communication. If you can't respect each other then it won't work. If you can't communicate how you feel then it won't work.





I would never cheat on my husband for anything on this planet. I love him and have respect for him. He feels the same. I know this because we have discussed it. You have to be able to talk about these things so you will know how to deal with them later.





Talk to your man and let him know how you feel. Your gut will tell you whether it is right or not.





Good luck!
the simplest way to answer your question and address your worries is, for you and your fiance to sit down and read and discuss the wedding vows, Describe what each sentence means to each of you and understand the last sentence, ';Til death do you part';


When you can understand the obligations that are described and the strength that it takes to make a marriage work , then you will be ready to get married, if you don't agree to any part of these vows or don't understand the true meaning,, then you are not ready to get married,,,,, Good Luck