Does anyone have a really good article or website with infor about ptsd and how it deals with infidelity? My husband had an affair for 9 months and we have been working on things but he wants me to be over it and doesn't want to continue with counciling( which he only went to 4 sessions). I don't think he understands how I still feel on somedays. I still have flashbacks when I drive by the hotel they went to, when someone talks about infidelity. I think if I can get him to understand our therapy would go alot easier.Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?
i'm not sure it is truly a PTSD situation but the situation sure is explosive. if your husband had the affair then he has issues he definitely needs to deal with. since you say he tried therapy and only went to a few sessions it sounds to me like he was afraid of finding out what really caused the situation. most usually when couples go into therapy they work through their problems together until one or the other get tired or scared. therapy is scary because the person has issues to deal with and doesnt want the other spouse to know what those issues are. Are you still in therapy without him? if so, is it helping you to cope with the infidelity? i would suggest a brief separation from himt o let the situation cool down and let him see what it could be like if you decided not to hang around. the ';flashbacks'; are always going to be there whenever the subject comes up or when you see something that reminds you of what happened. by all means you should continue your therapy with or without him because that is what you need and you are the most important person on the planet to yourself. no matter what happens to you or what anyone does to you, you are special, you are one of God's children. if you have children. live for your children and yourself and then consider the other people around you. God will take core of the rest. and please remember that whatever he did when he stepped outside the bonds of your marriage it was him and not you that did the dirty deed. don't let yourself go on a guilt trip thinking it was something you did to cause it. if there are problems in a marriage like that the only thing that can fix them is talking to each other to figure out what the problem is. the worst case scenario is that he will keep on doing it because he isnt happy in the relationship and if that is the case then think about yourself first, always. sometimes you can't make someone else happy. and it isnt right to make yourself miserable just to appease the other.Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?
PTSD for infidelity isn't a common one and I haven't seen any literature around it, but it's a life changing event.
http://www.ptsdinfo.org/
If it is truly PTSD with flashbacks you should be getting trauma focussed CBT or EMDR and not usual style counselling. If you don't do reliving, you won't knock the flashbacks on the head.
Hope things work out for you.
hi, your bound to be feeling all sorts at the moment because of what has has done. you cant suddenly snap out of someone hurting you. it takes along time to regain any trust at any level. it also makes me thing he doesnt think much of your relationship because he only attended 4 sessions of counciling. thats discusting, but clearly you want to try keep him and that to me makes you very special because there aint alot of people that would do that.
its called Google.com
try webmd.com and look it up. they've got some pretty good articles.
PTSD is addressed in sections 33 - 34, at ezy-build, below. Professional EMDR has proved effective in many cases, but may be difficult to locate nearby. ================ ================ ============== ============== (The following is a variant of EMDR therapy, which has been used successfully for those people suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, insomnia, and anxiety: it is easily learned, quick to use, yet can be very effective. It is easy to be dismissive of such a seemingly unusual technique, but give it a good tryout, for at least a few weeks, to see if it is effective in your case.). Prior to using either of the methods in the above paragraph, first sit comfortably, and take a deep breath. Then, without moving your head, move your eyes from the left, to the right, and back again, taking around a second to do so (say: ';a thousand and one';: this takes approximately a second). Repeat this procedure (without the words, although you can count, subvocally, if you like) 20 times. Then close your eyes and relax. Become aware of any tension or discomfort you feel.
Then open your eyes, and take another deep breath, and repeat step one, closing your eyes, and relaxing afterwards, in the same manner. Then, repeat the procedure one last time. Some people may find that this is all they need do. With experience, you may find that you can practise this in public, with your eyes closed, which greatly widens the window of opportunity for its use, and avoids attracting unwanted attention. ================ ============== ============== ============= RELATIONSHIPS: go to http://www.relationshiptalk.net/forums/a鈥?/a> and http://www.relationshipweb.com and http://www.relationship-affairs.com/your鈥?/a> and BOARDS, at http://www.mental-health-today.com/ptsd/鈥?/a> and http://www.kasamba.com/ may be worth a look as well. =========== http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris
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