Dealing with infidelity?

I just found out that after 6 months of not having sex with my husband...and no communication....our marriage was almost at an end anyways....but I always had the hope that we would make it through anything.....my husband slept with a girl from his work..in his new truck to boot! He says it means nothing. We have an 11 month old son....he keeps saying that I drove him to it. I will take blame for some of our marriage problems...but not for him sleeping with someone else. A bigger and braver person would have just left....I feel he took the easy way out. Now we are trying to decide if there is something worth saving....or should we just call it quits....is this a proper apology....';I'm sorry I slept with _____, but you drove me too it.'; He is not taking responsibility for what he did...how can I even begin to think about forgiving him when he doesn't think he did anything wrong???!!!Dealing with infidelity?
No, it's not a proper apology. That's an excuse. An apology is where you take responsibility for your actions and acknowledge the harm you've done - ';I'm sorry that I did ______ because it was the wrong thing to do and I was wrong to hurt you that way.'; Proper apologies help people deal with their feelings - excuses can come later, if and when people want to understand ';why'; things happened. Finally, just because your husband cheated, doesn't mean that your marriage can't be saved. Many couples are able to grow closer after the discovery of infidelity. Doing so, however, requires communication skills that many couples lack. So, counseling is almost alway needed.Dealing with infidelity?
I don't believe it's a proper apology, no. He is certainly trying to shift the blame onto you. I know this from personal experience. Bottom line is - nobody made him do it in the first place. He still had a choice. So don't wear the blame for a bad choice that he made.
Well i hate to hear about this, I am in a similar situation myself, I am 30 and my wife is 32 and our marriage is on the rocks, no communication and very, very, very, little sex (not because of me and lack of trying) If I were to find out that my wife is or has cheated (which I suspect she is) It would be hard to forgive her but I would because of our two small children. Even though it would take a long time I would do my best to try and make it through it for their sakes. However, in your situation he needs to realize that he made the choice to sleep with the other woman. He needs to learnto deal with his choices. Also you both need to get counseling
You married a loser, girl. Men will always blame you for driving them to cheat. Smart women recognize this tactic right away and move on.


You should make better choices.
Blaming you for the problems is NOT an apology. He is not willing to admit it was HIS fault, and that he was wrong. Until he does, this infidelity will never be forgiven. He is not taking responsibility for his actions.......certainly NOT an apology.
6 months without and a small child at home. He lied to you. Not that you drove him to it but that he is sorry. A bigger person would have just left!!!!!!!!!! Do you hear yourself? He is small for going out and getting some after 6 months? You will never forgive him. You were punishing him in advance for something he felt forced to do. It does not sound as if you felt anything in the first place. You might get him to take responsibility when you take some as well.
as long as he can blame u he doesn't have to take responsibility for his misdeed. he odviously has no remorse, it's no big deal to him at all. if he doesn't show any remorse than you are going to stay hurt, and u won't be able to move past it. he is not seeing it as u do, he sweeps it under the rug, never to be spoken of or seen again, but as long as he's not sorry than he really believes it was okay, and will mostlikely do it whenever he pleases again. i wouldn't be able to take him back, if he did me a hurt, and than also blamed me because he did it, his choices are responsible not you. he doesn't seem to know right from wrong, nor does he care how hurt this made u. if only he could show the least little bit of repentance, perhaps there would be something for u to go on, he betrayed you, and now wants u to forget, and say nothing, cause he wants to say u caused it. i would not go back to him, his attitude stinks.
What is good for the goose is good for the gander...you should go out and find someone too.
If he won't accept responsibility for his decision to take his pants off.....well it doesn't sound like he's all that sorry.





Visit this website- www.marriagebuilders.com and go to their forum section. There's tons of info about Plan A and Plan B, giving the no contact rule, etc. Lots of quality answers for betrayed spouses.





Sometimes it helps to talk to folks who've gone through it.
As a man i would want to stray after 6 months as well but i think i would have tried to communicate with you and we would have worked out our problems and had that make up sex ect... how about the other girl was she married did she have kids a husband you should tell her husband if she has one he has the right to know his wife was cheating i know i would like to know ... when a marriage fails both are to blame most of the time not just you or him but 6 months was a long time to be starved physical from a wife ..